Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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