I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
