come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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