I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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