So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
