you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
