found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
