Don't you send me to vm
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
