so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize