Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize