Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
