Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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