I'm really into asian looking animals
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
