its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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