Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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