she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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