Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
