So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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