glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I have post one night stand depression
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