forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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