somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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