so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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