im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
