this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
