By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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