Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
