You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
