I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
