so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
