Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just cut my nipple shaving
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
