i just had sex bonerless
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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