...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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