dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
