Having a random hookup so left but love u
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
