hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
