But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize