this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
