You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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