I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
