she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
