u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
