i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
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