anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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