I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
