yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
