At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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