i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
