you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I think I sprained my soul last night
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
