Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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