All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
