hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
