Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
honey bunches of taint.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Ladies don't puke and tell
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
