all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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