But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
