Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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