420 ftw
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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