I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
