maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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