thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
