Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
