Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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