No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
