you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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