I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
