Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
